


Start Anew

by chicago_ruth



Category: Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Awkwardness, Fluff, Hero Worship, Holidays, Kissing, M/M, New Year's Eve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:40:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28015614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chicago_ruth/pseuds/chicago_ruth
Summary: Cloud is alone on New Year's Eve, just like he wants. He failed the SOLDIER exams and is ready to pack his bags. He doesn't need other people to judge him for his failure.Then Sephiroth waltzes through the cafeteria door.
Relationships: Sephiroth/Cloud Strife
Comments: 6
Kudos: 125
Collections: Mistletoe Exchange 2020





	Start Anew

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MFLuder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MFLuder/gifts).



It was the last day of the year, and Cloud had nowhere to be.

Most of the other recruits had families they went back to, or if they couldn’t afford to travel home for the holidays, they went to parties with friends. Midgar was the city that never slept, and on New Year’s Eve, there were parties in every neighborhood.

Cloud knew he could have gone along with Kunsel, but the way Kunsel talked about finding a partner for the evening, wink-wink-nudge-nudge, made Cloud nervous. He didn’t want to be swarmed by people, he didn’t want to explain that no, he wasn’t a SOLDIER like Kunsel, yes, he was from a backwater village, no, he would never amount to anything—

They probably wouldn’t ask him that last bit. But Cloud hated small talk on the best of days, and he couldn’t imagine doing it with a stranger while at a loud party.

So he stayed at the Shinra dorms, and once the place was mostly empty, he went to the cafeteria to get himself a very late dinner.

He wasn’t the only person there. He saw a young Turk browsing his phone while he ate, while a young woman in her pajamas read a book. They were both gone by the time Cloud sat down with his food.

Cloud wished they had stayed. He didn’t know them, and he didn’t want to interact with them, but he felt slightly less lonely with other people in the room. Best thing to do now was eat quickly and return to his room to finish his notice of resignation and figure out what he was going to do in the new year. Maybe Zack could help him find a job in Sector 6.

Just as he was contemplating taking the pudding back to his room with him, the cafeteria doors opened and heavy footsteps filled the silence. Cloud looked up and inhaled sharply.

Sephiroth.

Fuck. Cloud thought this cafeteria was only frequented by dorm regulars. He’d never seen Sephiroth in here. He’d never seen him in the building at all. Cloud assumed Sephiroth had a nice private apartment in one of the Shinra owned luxury condo buildings.

Cloud turned his gaze down to his plate and hoped Sephiroth would ignore him. The sweat was already collecting on the back of his neck while his muscles tensed. The fork in his hand trembled when he tried to pick up some of his food.

Cloud sometimes, when he was alone in his room, looked up interviews with Sephiroth. Or photos of him. And if his hand sometimes found its way around his cock, well, it wasn’t like he would ever meet Sephiroth. Yet here he was now, in all his glory, striding through the door.

Shame pooled in his belly for having fantasized about Sephiroth at all. He knew he shouldn’t have. He tried, very hard, to think of somebody else. Tifa, or Kunsel, or Zack, or…

But it was weird imagining people he knew, and Sephiroth was like a god. Out of reach entirely. Safe.

There was no reason to think that Sephiroth would even notice him. He would probably grab food and be on his way, and…

Sephiroth sat down across from Cloud. His tray clacked loudly as he set it down.

“Shouldn’t you be out partying with all the other recruits?”

Of course Cloud had heard Sephiroth’s voice before, having watched all those interviews. But never close like this, never addressed to him specifically.

Cloud blushed, scrambling to find an adequate response. “I’m… not much for parties, Sir.”

What a great first impression.

“Funny. Neither am I.”

And that was it. Sephiroth didn’t say anything else, he simply ate his food. Cloud fumbled with the plastic lid on his pudding and wondered why he wasn’t fleeing already. But it felt disrespectful, too. Sephiroth had sat down specifically at his table, when there were so many empty ones available.

Maybe Sephiroth was lonely too. Zack had gone home to Gongaga, and Genesis and Angeal were still MIA. Cloud didn’t know if Sephiroth had any other friends. If he was here, he probably didn’t have family.

“Where are you from?” Sephiroth asked suddenly. “Too far to go home over the holidays. Unless you’re one of the unlucky ones that pulled holiday duty.”

“No, Sir. I’m from Nibelheim. It’s far. And it’s dangerous to visit this time of year, anyway.” Nobody visited Nibelheim in the winter if they could help it. Snow clung to the mountain peaks even in summer, but in winter, several feet of snow covered the streets. Any narrow mountain roads would be impassable.

Although Cloud wouldn’t have visited even if Nibelheim was warm all year round and only a short drive away.

“Interesting. There used to be a Shinra research outpost there.” Sephiroth drummed his fingers against the table. For once, he wasn’t wearing gloves.

Cloud peeked up at Sephiroth again, taking in his form a bit more carefully. He was wearing what could be considered casual dress: a long black coat, a dress-shirt, and probably jeans. And boots, definitely boots. Cloud remembered the sound of them as he’d entered. It was a rare sight, different from his usual uniform.

“The Shinra Mansion,” Cloud said. “It was off limits. Shinra researchers sometimes still visited, but they never stayed long.”

There was something absurd about telling the hero Sephiroth about his hometown. Cloud ate his pudding to stop himself from fidgeting, although that didn’t help for long. The pudding was barely two spoonfuls.

“I wonder… no, never mind.” Sephiroth’s gaze met Cloud’s, the mako-green eyes so intense they seemed to pierce right through him. “What’s your name? I should have asked first.”

For a few seconds, Cloud couldn’t speak. He couldn’t even breathe. Sephiroth wanted to know his name. _Sephiroth_ wanted to know his name. It had already been nerve-wracking when he’d started up a conversation with Zack, but now Sephiroth would know him.

“Cloud, Sir. Cloud Strife.” Somehow he managed to choke his name out.

“Well, Cloud. Thank you for keeping me company. Enjoy the last few minutes of the year.” Sephiroth grabbed his tray and stood up. He’d barely eaten.

Cloud watched him, bemused, until he noticed the clock on the wall. _11:43 pm_. He hadn’t even realized just how late it was.

“Um, ah,” Cloud stammered, like an idiot. “Wait, Sir.” He got up, and, oh, Sephiroth was tall. A lot taller than Cloud. He’d never truly thought of himself as short, but compared to Sephiroth, he might as well have been a dwarf.

“Yes?” Sephiroth didn’t look angry to have been addressed, at least. That emboldened Cloud just a bit.

“If you want… I mean, the lounge is probably free right now. It’s off limits for parties. We could… we could get a drink there?” This was possibly the most terrifying thing that Cloud had ever done, but what did he have to lose? It wasn’t like he could fail the SOLDIER exams harder than he already had. If Sephiroth recommended Cloud get kicked out of the military… there were plenty of other army washouts in Midgar. He was already planning to quit, anyway.

Sephiroth didn’t say anything for so long that Cloud thought maybe he did still have something to lose: his dignity.

“All right,” Sephiroth answered. “I’m not doing anything else, anyway. Lead the way.” His mouth even turned up slightly on the corners, a small hint at a smile.

Cloud was going to die. He didn’t know what had given him the courage to ask Sephiroth to… to grab a drink with him, though that courage was quickly fleeing. But Sephiroth was giving him an expectant look now, and he couldn’t exactly keep the general waiting.

Cloud deposited his tray at the return bins before leading Sephiroth to the lounge.

As expected, the lounge was empty and dark. The lights brightened for them as they entered, and Cloud made a beeline for the vending machines. “Oh, um. I guess you’re probably used to better drinks. But if you get the Costa Wine, it’s not too bad.”

“Whatever you recommend.” Sephiroth sat down on the L-shaped couch. He looked far classier than anything else in the dorm lounge. Cloud had to force himself to look away to buy the drinks.

One cheap beer for himself, and the most expensive wine… drink… thing for Sephiroth. Cloud almost dropped the cans as he was bringing them over. He hadn’t been this nervous in a while.

No wonder he’d failed the SOLDIER exams, if he couldn’t even stay calm in front of Sephiroth.

“Thank you,” Sephiroth said, holding out his hand.

Cloud stared dumbly for a second before realizing that he was expected to pass Sephiroth the drink. Duh. What else would Sephiroth want. Still, it was strange to be so casual with Sephiroth. General Sephiroth.

He almost fumbled the drink. Thankfully Sephiroth caught it, although it didn’t stop Cloud’s entire face from flushing beet-red. He quickly sat down, a respectable distance away from Sephiroth, and lowered his gaze to hide the blush.

Sephiroth opened the drink and, after a few sips, said, “I see why this is sold in a vending machine.”

“I’m sorry!” Cloud bit his lip. “I should have warned you. Or, no, I shouldn’t have brought you here, this is—”

“Relax. I was joking. Well, not about the drink, but it doesn’t bother me.” Two beats of silence, then Sephiroth added, “You can look at me, Cloud. I don’t bite.”

Hesitantly, Cloud raised his head. Sephiroth was smiling at him, making Cloud’s heart beat in overtime. Even in his fervent dreams, he never imagined Sephiroth smiling. Usually his dream Sephiroth looked down on Cloud and told him he was passable as a recruit, and Cloud would offer his body to beg forgiveness, and from there they’d have sex in a dirty alley or in the back of a truck or maybe in the janitor’s closet.

“This might be a bit strange,” Sephiroth said, still smiling softly, “But I have a small request.”

“Yes?” Cloud’s voice squeaked. He thought he was done with embarrassing voice changes, but now he sounded all of thirteen again.

“Could you pretend I’m not Sephiroth, just for ten minutes?”

Cloud blinked at him, and suddenly he noticed that Sephiroth’s smile was strained. The great general, and… and he was alone on New Year’s Eve, just like Cloud.

In the end, they were the same.

Pretending he wasn’t sitting next to Sephiroth would be impossible, but Cloud nodded eagerly anyway. “Yes! Of course, Sir! I mean, of course.” The blush didn’t go away, and the nervous energy made Cloud break out into a smile. He probably looked like a fool, but Sephiroth didn’t reprimand him or make fun of him.

The only problem was that he didn’t know what kinds of things normal people would talk about with Sephiroth. When he hung out with Zack, they talked about movies and books and Zack’s girlfriend. Sometimes Zack suggested they spar together, and that was fun too, even if Cloud usually lost.

Most of the time, Cloud was happy to let Zack do all the talking. It seemed unlikely that Sephiroth was as talkative as Zack, though.

In fact, they were both sitting in silence now, the only sounds coming from the streets outside the window. Cloud frowned when he realized just how loud the sounds were.

“They’re counting down,” Sephiroth said, craning his neck looking out. “Ten, nine…”

The end of the year. The end of Cloud’s career with Shinra, probably. He couldn’t imagine staying much longer. And he’d already embarrassed himself in front of Sephiroth.

“Can I…” Cloud started, hesitating when Sephiroth turned his gaze on him. But he remembered Zack’s encouragements to take more chances, too. “Can I kiss you?”

Outside, fireworks went off and people started cheering. Sephiroth sat still for long enough that Cloud thought he’d mortally offended him.

But then Sephiroth smiled again. “I did ask you to treat me like a normal person. Very well.” He scooted closer and lifted Cloud’s chin with one elegant finger. His skin was cooler than Cloud had expected.

“Happy New Year, Cloud,” Sephiroth said, leaning in.

Cloud kept his eyes open for as long as possible, afraid that everything would disappear if he looked away. Once Sephiroth’s mouth was on his, his eyelids slid closed and he relaxed into it. Cloud hadn’t done a lot of kissing in the past, so he didn’t know what to compare it to. But he liked the smooth texture, he liked how warm Sephiroth’s lips were in comparison to his fingers, and he liked it even more when Sephiroth coaxed Cloud’s mouth open with this tongue.

Tongues were new. Cloud had definitely never done this before. His dreams didn’t usually include kissing. His dreams didn’t include Sephiroth being gentle. Arousal started to pool in his belly, and he knew if he kept doing this, he would end up in a very embarrassing state.

He didn’t want to stop.

It was Sephiroth who pulled away. Cloud whimpered and opened his eyes, ready to apologize for screwing up, but all he saw was another smile.

“That was nice,” Sephiroth said. “I’ve never kissed anyone at midnight before.” He let go of Cloud and drew away.

The air was suddenly a lot colder. Cloud wanted to beg Sephiroth to continue, or maybe offer himself up in some other way, but Sephiroth stood up.

“I’m expected bright and early tomorrow. Shinra never rests. But I hope I’ll see you around, Cloud Strife.”

“Y-yes!” Cloud sat up straighter. “Yes, of course. I’m… I’m not going anywhere.”

Without another word, Sephiroth left.

For a good ten minutes, Cloud did nothing but touch his lips. Sephiroth had kissed him. Sephiroth had kissed _him_.

He wouldn’t be able to fantasize about anything else for days. Months. Nobody would ever believe him that this had happened.

Finally he managed to stand. After discarding the two drinks—he hadn’t even touched his own—he wandered back to his dorm. As soon as the door was closed, he flopped onto the bed.

In the morning, he would delete the half-started notice of resignation. He’d throw himself even more into his training. He would sign up for the SOLDIER exams again. And this time, he would succeed. After all, Sephiroth wanted to _see him around_.

The new year was off to a great start.


End file.
